Pro Athletes

I can't figure out people's fascination with pro athletes. I've been to several Braves games, and it's amazing to watch people nut themselves over the fact that someone can hit a small, circular object a long way. Don't people realize that these people have been doing this non-stop for 20 years and that they're getting paid billions to do it?

I mean, seriously, I'd get a bigger kick out of sports if every ninth batter was someone selected from the stands. "Now batting, Delores Goodwine of Norcross, Georgia...Skip, Delores is apparently a lefty and comes in at five foot even, 167, and was born in 1938. She plays softball with her church league on Sundays and has a good, strong arm for a 69 year old".

If they gave her a shot of steroids like they do for Barry Bonds, she might get it out to the left-center gap.

What's worse is the way women swoon over these guys, too. There's hardly a good looking guy among them, but they just love those young guys (he's got a good butt...well, shit, they all do because they do nothing but work out and wear tight pants). Maybe I should wear knee-high socks and tight pants to school, too, and I'd have more luck with the ladies.