We have these big tests at the end of the year in education, tests that are supposed to tell us if our kids are smart and if we've been doing our job throughout the year. Never mind the fact that there are few, if any, middle school aged kids who are in their right mind long enough to learn anything, but these tests are, apparently, the indicator of our efforts.
Lately, kids have been doing poorly on their tests. Latest polls show that the majority of American elementary school students can't locate Mexico on a map. Perhaps this is because Mexico is in the United States now, and these poor whipper-snappers are all confused or some shit. I know I am, most of the time. Where the hell is Canada? Why should I CARE?
Anyway, I think I have a solution. All these tests are taken on multiple choice forms, what we commonly call "Scan-trons," the lost brotherhood of Transformers that disappeared millions of years ago but have been resurrected for testing purposes in the 21st century. We're telling these kids that they can't fill in the bubbles with anything less than a number 2 pencil...number 2? Hell, no wonder they suck at this test, they can't even use their #1 pencil! Would you start an NFL season by telling the coach to scrap his starting QB and pu in his #2 man? We're telling our kids to go to their backup pencil on the most important test of the year! Shit, man!
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